A sorry schedule

Sorry for the irregularity of my updates... The last few weeks have been as dull as the inevitability of QPR eventually ending their 6 game unbeaten run.
My days have become regimented and tiresome, the only time they change is the weekend but let's start with the week.

9:15 - My alarm goes off. It's that annoying blackberry chime that haunts anyone who uses their phone as an alarm. It puts me in a bad mood but I refuse to change it. I am grossly hungover.

9:45 - Leave the house. Check the line at Strabucks. If short then buy a coffee. If long then buy a coffee and get to work late.

10:05 - Clock in 5 minutes late.

10:15 - Have argument with other waiters about listening to something other than country music whilst we set up the restaurant. I usually win and put on Muse. Girls complain.

11:00 Sit through pre-shift praying they don't ask me to describe some obscure item on the menu... they do. They want to know what seeds are in the duck rolls. The answer is caraway.... apparently.

12:00 - Hangover really kicks. Fold 50 napkins to ease the pain.

12:30 - Switch on auto-pilot as I serve guests.

2:00 - Get cut. Start doing sidework.

2:45 - Have sidework checked. Inevitabley I have forgotten something, usually the lemonade. Get lemonade from fridge. Fear for my life that fridge door will lock and I will be stuck in there and die.

3:15 - Leave work. Go home. Shower. Shit. Shave. Sleep

6:00 - Wake up and head off to rehearsal in Brooklyn.

6:30 - The R train stops in between stations underground for 10 minutes. I learn lines.

7:00 - Arrive at rehearsal and discover the schedule changed and we are doing a different scene.

7:15 - Embarrassingly call 'line' every 5 seconds of rehearsal.

9:00 - Make a pact with Ollie (girl from the play) that we won't get drunk again tonight.

10:00 - Rehearsal finishes and go for a beer with Ollie.

12:00 - 2 rounds later still out.

2:00 - Stumble home

Repeat until Friday when everything changes!!

11:00 - Wake up hungover. No work until 4:30. Decide to be productive.

3:00 - Still in pyjamas playing Football manager.

4:30 - Head to work.

5:00 - Text Ollie telling her I am no way going out tonight.

9:00 - Start serving beer at work. Have urge for a beer.

10:00 - Receive text from Ollie that she gave up and went out.

12:00 - Leave work and head to the crappy bar with white trash bartenders with Fred and Nicole from work. $4 beers for me because I'm a regular. Not a good sign.

3:30 - Leave bar.

Saturday.

8:00 - Wake up and head to Brooklyn.

9:00 - Hate Brooklyn.

10:00 - Realize that performing when hungover adds gravitas to scenes of a depressing nature.

10:15 - Scenes of a humorous nature aren't performed well.

12:00 - Check QPR score. Recently we have been winning. On saturday we lost.

2:00 - Go home and make a pact with Ollie that neither of us will go out.

2:30 - Shower. Shit. Shave. Sleep.

4:30 - Get to work and feel disgusting. There are 5 new servers so I have a small section meaning I make no money.

8:00 - Hear Americans talk about sporting rivalries 'decades old.' Place my head in my hands.

9:30 - Stare lovingly at the object of my desires at work. Get caught. Lie and say I was looking at a guest.

10:15 - Text from Ollie, she's out.

12:30 - Leave work

4:00 - Leave bar

Repeat on Sunday.

I am fucking knackered to say the least. However if you want cheap drinks at a crap bar after some BBQ food then I'm your man.

A more conventional update next week!